The Third Commandment in Marriage

The Third Commandment of Marriage: Speak Well of Your Mate
Bayless Conley

Exodus 20:7 gives us our third commandment of marriage,

"You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain, for the LORD will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain."

Many misunderstand the term, in vain. It means empty, meaningless, insincere, not showing due respect.

When we speak flippantly or lightly about someone, we erode our respect for that person. Some people are just far too casual in the way they speak of their spouse, and it erodes your respect for him or her.

In marriage, few things can affect the relationship like words. Words are containers. They can contain love; they can contain hate; they can contain joy; they can contain bitterness.

The book of James says that our tongue is like a rudder on a ship. It will send the ship of your marriage in whatever direction your words go. Some people are on the brink of divorce because they talk divorce. Just listen to the words they say. Are they negative or positive? Critical or encouraging?

One night I was out with a couple of friends diving for lobster. Some guys were out in one of those big, long speedboats drinking and zooming back and forth at 60 miles an hour. All of a sudden, BANG! The boat hit the rocks.

But it did not hit the rocks by itself. It was steered into the rocks. Just like the driver of that boat, some people are steering their marriage into the rocks of divorce, into the rocks of heartache, by the words they speak.

Think about what you say. Are you building up your partner? Learn to speak well of your mate. Build them up with your words. Be lavish with your praise. You will be pleased with where those words will take your relationship.

Visit the Answers with Bayless Conley website for more ways to Connect with God

More Blessed to Give than to Receive

Pastor Adrian Rogers

"...remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how He said, It is more blessed to give than to receive." Acts 20:35

Unhappiness comes from mirrors. Happiness comes from windows.

If you want to be miserable, then think about yourself first...

what you want,
what people are saying about you,
what you ought to have done for you,
how down you feel,
how good you feel.

Just focus on yourself. Feeling good yet? If you are, then something is wrong. Selfishness and happiness just don't go hand in hand.

If you're thinking it is better to receive than to give, then you'll never be happy. You'll never experience the blessing of giving that Jesus taught.

Hold out your hand and make a fist for at least one minute. Now, relax. Which feels better — the clinched fist or the relaxed and flexible hand?

Imagine that your spirit is tight like that fist and think of how severely that can quench His work in your life. Now relax and submit your spirit to the One who truly blesses.

For more from Love Worth Finding and Pastor Adrian Rogers, please visit

Is God in Everything?
Dr. Charles Stanley

Romans 8:28-29

Is God involved in everything that happens throughout the world? How you answer that question is important. What people believe about the Lord's sovereignty affects both their trust in Him and their reactions to struggles. Moreover, believers' thoughts on God's dominion influences their compliance with His requirements. For instance, "in everything give thanks" (1 Thess. 5:18) would be an impossible standard if God were only partially in control of what's going on.

Believing God is present in the positive aspects of our lives is easy. Reconciling hardship to His promises of provision and love is tougher. But think about this: If the Lord has reason to provide a job promotion, might He not also have reason to orchestrate a job loss? If He gives good health, might He not also allow sickness,
as He permitted in Job's life (Job 2:6-7)?

The Bible says that the Lord's ways are not like our ways (Isa. 55:8). He has a master purpose for involving Himself in every aspect of believers' lives—namely, conforming them to the image of Christ (Rom. 8:29). Jesus' life was not easy or sweet. He suffered shame, abuse, ill will, and persecution even before He faced the cross. If we are to be like Him, then we must expect that God's loving hand will sometimes hold a tool for reshaping us.

Every believer is encircled by God's protection (Psalm 34:7), so nothing touches our lives unless He permits or directs it. Bitterness and blame cannot take root if we accept that every good and bad thing comes with God's knowledge and permission. We can trust Him to do right by us (Rom. 8:28).

For more biblical teaching and resources from Dr. Charles Stanley, please visit

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